Another Crazy day in Paradise

A little background info: I live with my Ex-Husband, Greg. We were married for 20 years and then divorced. We should have been married a MUCH shorter time. Due to my ability to see the sunny side of everything, I continued to believe that it would get better tomorrow. Well as you all know, tomorrow never comes.

We are both much older now, and for some reason I am still fun and he is as dull as a doorknob. I have no idea what happened, but as I speak to my friends, they seem to think it is an epidemic (or pandemic depending on your situation) Maybe they will come out with a shot for this?

Lets ponder the idea that men of a certain age, say 40-65 have decided they are done striving to "be all they can be". At this point they just throw in the towel and plop down on the couch and there they lay until Monday morning when they go to their offices, jobs, etc.. and plop down. They are just done! They are either disappointed that they never measured up to what they thought they would be or they reached it.

And us women of a certain age, 0-95, just continue to look at the world as an oyster and we are forever seeking the pearl inside. I just don't get it? As my kids would say, "What the hell?"

I started out as a very naive young woman who thought "Oh I am in love, and I will marry the man as fast as I can cuz god knows I won't find another?" My only chance at marriage. What was I smoking?

Ok, to be honest I kind of have an attitude about husbands. Had two and thank god have none now, or at least not those two. Maybe I am not marriage material? Or MAYBE I just have a lousy chooser?

Husband number 1, high school sweetheart, jock, virgin, quiet I thought and really a nice guy. Well after dating for 5 years, we survived 4 `1/2 years of marriage. We did have a wonderful son. Either he was bored shitless with me or he just wanted to try someone else, because after he attended college and we struggled through it, (the lean years), graduated and found his first job using his degree, he was done.

Now, after all these years of having to deal with each other, we are somewhat friends. I used to dream that he would be standing in a parking lot and I would be able to run over him and then hit reverse and do it again. (I think this has been done before. I watch Court TV) HE has gone through a few wives, and you know as well as I do that the women get younger with each marriage.... Maybe he wasn't perfect. But the bummer is I will always be the 1st wife and much older than the rest!

Husband number 2, pain in the ass, older, whiner, used to be fun, life of the party guy. Now, asleep at the wheel dull. Sits in front of the television watching sports like each moment is history in the making......I truly believe he is like Weekend at Bernie's, where the guy is really dead, but they want to party so they just prop him up on the couch. My kids would do that, they are teenagers.....

He might be deaf by now? He does not move or make any motions that appear to be reactions. When you watch that much sports, pretty soon, you just sit there and look at the big black box (of course it is big?) and he could be running reruns in his head. Who would know the difference? The rambling dialogue he mumbles to himself could be the game from 20 years ago or in the moment. Problem is.....I could give a rip whether so and so was released from prison, let go by his old team and is been given a new lease on life. This is a joke right? The guy is not roughing it. He is making 20 million a year. Boo Hoo.....